…I pursue the impossibilities of decision-making – I no longer have a choice – I can no longer choose – I let myself be led – I no longer chose – I can no longer act – abruptly seeing myself– making them return – I’m no longer troubled – I no longer make decisions – I let her lead me – I look at her from the outside – I get over my emotion – I can’t – I’m moved – a little bit – it’s this idea, this idea I need – I try to escape – they will get me – I recognize every gesture of hers – I recognize them, despite: the years – I try things to escape – I know: trouble, trouble – trouble again – I try – I try and give up – I fail – and the tenderness that resisted – tenderness that is always there – I’m getting there – I don’t see myself – I can’t see myself – we haven’ t gotten used to – it happens – she paces naked about the apartment all day – I watch – the thing resumes – I catch her in a loving act – loving/tenderness – I know her so well – rather a reflex – and it ought to be carried on for years, years… (Translated by Eugenia Tsutsumi)